Today, I woke up with the feeling that I should call-in to work. I haven’t slept a full night’s sleep in over a week (I’ve been averaging about 3 hours per night). I also, haven’t been taking my Lexapro. I know I should, but I don’t like it anymore.
While I was at work, one of my co-workers was bitching at me about how her manager wanted MY shelves done a certain way, though MY manager and I have control over the shelf. Mind you, I was clocked out for lunch at the time. I lost 2/3 of my lunch break because she wanted me to do something that I wasn’t supposed to do and as I tried to explain to her the way I do it, I got VERY pissed off, I yelled at the poor old woman, and I stomped back to the BOH to find that she had told my manager that I wasn’t doing something right, even though I do. UGH!
Anyway, I went back to my station, took 1/3 of a Klonopin, let it take effect while I tried to hold back the tears and regulate my breathing so that I could continue doing my job (the correct way).
Within 5 minutes, I was falling asleep in a box of raw, frozen bacon. My boss walked up to me, asked if I was okay (quietly, because he didn’t want to cause a scene for me). I shook my head no and began to cry. He told me that since my break was cut short, I should take another twenty minutes to collect myself. I agreed and went to hide in the bathroom.
When I came out twenty minutes later, he was standing at the door, holding my purse. “I finished the bacon for the weekend. I’m headed out and if you move quickly, no one will have to know you were in here.” He smiled at me, my face red and blotchy, and continued, “Have a good weekend. Get some sleep. We care about you here and we need you to take care of yourself.”
I cried instantly as I took my purse from him and slipped out the back door. I don’t know who in his life was/is hurting, but he knows far too well how to handle my breakdowns.
I don’t want to lose my job, but sometimes just getting out of bed (even when I’m not sleeping) in the morning is so stressful. Does anyone have any advice for dealing with morning anxiety?
Evan
borderline problems 